Weird Paint Names
With all the color of the year announcements, I thought it was time to revisit this old post on color names. The 3 announcements we’ve covered recently have included:
Blank Canvas…an okay name, I guess, and certainly an accurate description of the color'. Redend Point, which is not a helpful name for a color that needs all the help it can get IMO. And Raspberry Blush, which is a delightful color even though the name sounds more like something from the cosmetics counter.
There are hundreds of paint colors, so I suppose coming up with unique names can be a challenge...I mean, how many ways are there really to say “white”? But some things just shouldn’t BE paint names. Here are the 12 worst offenders
Food names are tricky...some, especially fruit or vegetable or candy names, work well because they are also used frequently to describe colors...think cherry red, or chocolate brown. Other foods just seem a little disturbing as paint names..like these two from Benjamin Moore...
1. NACHO CHEESE - sure it’s a popular snack food, but do you want it on the walls??
2. MAYONNAISE - see nacho cheese. Only worse because it’s just a condiment. It IS pretty descriptive of an actual color though, so there’s that, which is more than I can say for ...
3. Little Green Paint’s, JULIE’S DREAM - This invites more questions than it answers...like WHO IS JULIE? And what kind of dream? Is it that one where you are at work and you forgot to put on pants? No?
OR
4. Sherwin Williams LAUREN’S SURPRISE Again with the vague people references! WHO is Lauren? Good surprise like she won a free vacation? or bad surprise like the vacation is in South Dakota. In February?
OR
5. Sherwin Williams ANONYMOUS - really??? This literally means without any name attached. It is the “I give up” of paint names. I assume this came about because it was late on a Friday afternoon and they had places to be.
Then there are these from Farrow and Ball - yes, the company that brought you ELEPHANTS’S BREATH and DOWN PIPE has even more bizarre names on their roster like...
6. DEAD SALMON - I can’t believe they are serious, but they are. Dead serious (haha). Who wants the nightmare image of being surrounded by walls of dead fish? Did they really just not want to sell this paint? What, exactly, was the marketing department smoking the day they came up with this?
7. SULKING ROOM PINK - the color for a child’s room who is constantly being sent to time out? Or an adult who should be?
8. MOLE’S BREATH - I have questions…who interviewed a mole? And WHY was his breath a dark moody gray…what had he been eating? And do you want him breathing all over your walls in this condition?! Ewwww.
9. CALAMINE - in the event that your walls have chicken pox or poison ivy, how appealing. Pity that, it’s actually a pretty color!
10. CHURLISH GREEN - According to the Farrow and Ball website, this is an archaic reference to a peasant. Still, since the common definition in THIS century is ill-mannered, or rude and surly, it’s a bit aggressive for a paint name!
11. ARSENIC - This is the description on the website: “Arsenic has a lively, stimulating feel (is this how we are describing vomiting and diarrhea now?)…a vivid mint” Okay, a couple of things...the key ingredient in rat poison is hard to reconcile with lively, ...just ask the rats. And arsenic is not mint green, vivid or otherwise. What were they thinking??
And finally, my all time favorite in the mistaken identity category of paint names:
12. BROCCOLI BROWN - I don’t think broccoli was meant to be brown. ever. (though my MIL did insist on cooking it an alarmingly long time). I think maybe it’s time we declare a moratorium on the Brits using food names for anything beyond afternoon tea. Here is the explanation from the website. I love how they have attributed the color to everything EXCEPT a vegetable!
Clockwise from top left: Julie’s Dream, Broccoli Brown, Arsenic, Sulking Room Pink, Calamine, Mole’s Breath, Mayonnaise, Churlish Green, Nacho Cheese, Lauren’s Surprise, Anonymous, and Dead Salmon
What’s your pick for weirdest paint name?
Other posts you might enjoy:
Sherwin Williams Color of the Year